Tag Archives: weird news

Gas prices and conservation…Oofta!

I am at a certain age where I am closer to retirement than midlife crisis…and Oofta between upcoming winter heating bills and ongoing pain at the pump I truly worry that my 401K will see me through the many years to come.

Funny I never feared that possibility two years ago. My retirement fund was climbing weekly and the visions of security in my golden years seemed assured. Heck I shop at Walmart! In fact my Golden Parachute included a job as “greeter.” Oofta, how many of us have thought about that possibility to supplement our Social Security.

Today banks are failing, the stock market is plunging and there’s a waiting list for those jobs.

I’ve never squandered my money…now the money I do have seems even more dear. And that leads me to a idea I have been mulling over. MAYBE it is time to buy a scooter. They are gas sippers, I still have my balance and would probably survive a drive into town and back…and frankly they look like they’d be fun!

OOFTA

OOFTA

My purchase would also stimulate the economy.

I imagine the wind blowing thru my hair as I wave happily to my neighbors and the town folks. Putt, putt, putting thru town…with the songs from Easy Rider playing on my 25 year old Walkman. I’d like a little basket up front for my dog. He loves to ride shotgun. I am still mulling over models. Safety or style? Practicality or flamboyance?

I am leaning toward something in red…but the training wheels? They have to go!

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Oofta, and now the headlines

Cheese grater

Cheese grater

Don’t move, or I’ll grate you!

Are crooks getting dumber or is it just me?

O.k., imagine you are going out to rob a gas station…but before you leave the house you remember you don’t have a gun.  Oofta, what to do?  Reportedly one enterprising crook grabbed the most imposing weapon he could find.  “A cheese grater!” Now I am not privey to the police reports so I can’t confirm what type of grater he grabbed…but the above photo looks pretty scarey to me.

The strange thing about it, according to NBC’s THE NOOZ

This robber successfully robbed a gas station with the cheese grater.  His cheese was cut however, when he tried to repeat his success on Sunday at a nearby liquor establishment.  An eagle eye’d patron realized the alledged “gun” was an alledged grater and 86’d him! As he fled he scene the robber dropped his grater.  He was later captured by police.

The moral of this story?

Fool me once shame of me….fool me twice…shame on you.  Oofta, what a Dufus!