An essay by Mom…
MEMO: Little white lies, big fat lies, and out and out untruths.
TO: America’s adult children.
Today someone mentioned there seems to be an epidemic of lying among adult children. No DUH!
“What have we done to make our kids hide the truth?” That’s the universal question of the new millennium.
Have we so interjected ourselves into every aspect of your life …we’ve painted you into a corner where it is safer to withold the truth? Is it because you feel you must keep some part of you to yourself…and instead of truth use lies as verbal barbed wire to keep us out of your new grown up world?
How many Babyboomer parents have smoothed the way for our kids by covering overdrafted checking accounts, unpaid bills or a pile of parking tickets?
When we love to much… we are accused of being helicopter parents. We then step backward and strive to be your unjudgmental peer. When these actions fail… we resort to the silent treatment or turn up the heat with a verbal lashing. Frankly we are tired of it and suspect you are too.
Hey we’ve told a few big ones in the day… and we still exagerate a bit. We understand how easy it is to say what somebody wants to hear. But as parents who dearly love you… we are telling the truth when we say we’d prefer hearing the truth. We love you no matter what…that is our job. We may be saddened by your mistakes–but we understand you are intitled to make them.
But please remember even the small white lies break hearts and the truth always wins out. It take a village to raise a kid and those villagers like to talk. It may take weeks or years but ultimately we learn what you have really been up to.
We heard you first cry. We saw your first step…and we continue to celebrate each giant step you take in today’s big and amazing world. You are old enough to hold down a job, pay rent …and get married. If it matters to you…if you want to earn our respect as a responsible adult then please start by telling us the truth.
With great love,
PS if this freaks you out—just wait until you have your own adult kids. I know it will make sense then.